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December, 2012

2 Comments

chase :: identity


 
I was innocently sitting in science class my sophomore year of high school, waiting for class to start, when two guys known for bullying turned around and decided it was the day to make me their target. I don’t remember what they said, but I can still picture where I was sitting and what I was feeling. I felt like I was spinning and could not put my feet down. I could not land on what was true. And they laughed about who they perceived me to be, and all I could think was,

 

“Who am I?”

I knew they did not know me and what they were saying was careless and untrue. It wasn’t long after that experience that I met God. And it wasn’t until He began to undo me and define me that I finally could put my feed down and stop spinning. But even now, there are still plenty of days I spin, even with God in me.

No matter our age, we often find ourselves with feelings like those I had in high school. We have an identity crisis because we build our identity on things that move — things that aren’t dependable or constant.

The list of what we build our identity goes on and on… but the truth is the identity we are all chasing has already been given to us by God.

 

The right answer is to rest our identity in the God who created us and defines us. He gives us our identity. The right answer sounds amazing and even potentially fulfilling. But most days it feel impossible to believe in an invisible kingdom, in an invisible God who actually loves us. So we attach ourselves and our worth to things we can see. We try to control our image, since what is inside feels impossible to fix.

That is the war that often consumes our lives: here lies the root of insecurity. But also on a good day when we feel our image is intact, there lies the root of pride. And neither insecurity nor pride serves a fulfilling basis for our identity.

 

These questions matter, since they lie at the core of our hearts and navigate our lives.

 

Who am I?

How am I finding my identity in things outside of God? Is it working?

How do I align my identity around God’s character?  

 

In studying the life of David for chase, I wanted to know why David lived so confidently, so boldly. I wanted to know where my identity was rooted. Are you wondering the same? Are you searching for identity?

 

Let’s chase together.

2 Responses to chase :: identity


Carol Hulin says: December 10, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Your Chase posts are giving me an awful ache deep inside & I think I could hyperventilate!!! “Gotta” find a way to do this study……Thank you for doing this thing of going to the hard places….

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just me says: January 15, 2013 at 2:04 pm

Jennie, your words resonate inside of me so strongly. I am 44 years old and have struggled for all of them to know who I am…even though I have known Jesus for as long as I can remember. As a tiny child I knew I wanted Him, and I clung to Him through many days full of terror, but my identity was constantly shifting. I have just recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is characterized by just such a thing (along with many other things difficult to hear) and Bipolar Disorder (also hard to hear). I know my life should be hidden in Christ; I know so many things in my head, intellectually, but there is a bottleneck on the way from my head to my heart. I have wondered for so long just what was wrong with me; why I felt so very alone. Your words give me hope, make me feel less alone, and resolve my determination to let His healing come and learn to limp, walk, run, and finally fly.

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