Stuck is out and we are already hearing stories of God using it in beautiful ways from women all over. I am in awe of God and humbled by it. And I know many of you are starting groups this spring. I pray with you that God would show up in ways none of us can orchestrate.
There is a healthy discontentment within women’s ministry and we all are feeling it. I pray this will be a part of what God is doing to meet the needs of a hungry for God generation.
It’s been 6 months since this boy was welcomed into our lives. This week, with all the chaos he has brought into our lives, he still seems to be what we are most thankful for these days!
I am going to do the unthinkable and edit Tozer here. I believe this should read,
“Stop moving!” That’s what I have wanted to yell. Everything has changed so drastically within a few months that it’s made my life go faster. I want to pause. I want to sit down and wonder what to think about. My minutes and mind have been stuffed to the brim with the demands of a new life. So I try to reach out and grab a minute or thought or one of my kids and say- “sit with me.” “Don’t move.” And they will for a minute…. but then they are off. My thoughts and my kids are on to the next thing.
Not much else has happened in our family since I discovered 200+ episodes of The Cosby Show on Netflix. With all the controversy over Netflix this week, I have never been so happy with it, as if I found the secret honey hole within their empire. All 6 of us have watched 18 episodes so far (not in one sitting). And we just giggle as my kids yell out- Theo is so Conner (my nearly 12 year old) and he is. Caroline is Rudy and Kate is Vanessa and I think Coop is just so glad to see people who are “brown” like him. Yes he has noticed that he is brown now. He is really proud and just keeps pointing and laughing and saying Cooper’s brown. And we kiss him and eat him up and wish we were all brown- he is just so happy about it.
This was before. A moment before Cooper knew we were waiting for him. He was content with the only world he had known.
Last night for the first time, with his brand new 4 year old english nearly in tact, we talked about the orphanage, and about his new family, about Rwanda. It’s been almost 5 months. Of course I’ve wanted to ask the questions before now, but you need the right kind-of words and he was mostly learning words like ketchup and potty. God gave us the most precious moment of clarity, as if it occurred to both of us all that he has endured.
I take it for granted….
So I am in Canada doing some interviews this week- except that is not why I am in Canada. I am here because God wanted to stir my heart in such a way- to flat break it. See, I have spent far too much time thinking about how I am not the girl for this job of writing and making God known. My friends can tell you I have wept over inadequacy and fear and insecurity too many times to count in the last year. And while my face has stayed on the ground and close to Jesus, I have missed the point.
