A Vision for Something More; Neediness

It's hard to be needy.

It's hard to admit that you don't feel good and that you don't have what it takes for you to keep going. Why is it so hard though? Why are we so against it? It's very Biblical. It's very clear throughout Scripture that this is how we were built. We were built frail, finite, needing to sleep, needing to go to the restroom, to eat and drink. 

Jesus Showed Neediness is
Part of Humanity

We were not built to have everything that we
need in ourselves.

We have to depend on other people to survive from the time we are born. That’s the story of all the humans, including Jesus when He came to earth. We all know He is all-powerful. However, it says in Philippians that He did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage. Rather, He made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant; being made in human likeness and being found in appearance as a man. He humbled Himself by becoming obedient even to death.

[Jesus was dependent on people just like all of us.]

That dependence showed throughout his life. He asked people to pray for Him. He asked people for water. He asked people for food - He pulls Zacchaeus out of a tree and says, “Can we come over to your house and eat?” He showed His need for people throughout his life. He was showing us that is our humaneness. 

Even in the Trinity, you see dependence. Jesus asks the Father for things. Jesus sends the Spirit where He can't be. He tells us that even the rocks could cry out and bring worship but we are the called ones that are to be set apart to worship God with our mouths, hands, and lives. There's a sense of partnership with us in interdependence to accomplish His purpose on Earth. 

“He could cause anything to happen, but He chooses to work beside us and with us.”

In fact, He says that He reconciles us to Himself and then we become ambassadors for Christ; we take the message of Christ to the world. That's the story that God has built through us, and it is the greatest desire of God that we would be dependent first on Him and then on each other. 

The Theology of Our Dependence on Each Other 

In Corinthians, you see that there are many parts but one body; Christ is the head. If each person is playing their part, then there is health. However, if one person does not play their part, even if it's not an honorable part, then the body is sick. Therefore, this interdependence matters. It matters how we're in a relationship with Him and with each other. 

The scripture says that you are to go to other people and confess your sin. Why would you do that? If you're forgiven by God when you confess to God, why would you go to someone else? It’s because of our healing. It says that you confess your sins one to another, so that you may be healed. 

Therefore, we know that there is great supernatural power in relationships. He describes it in the form of submission to a local church, friendship, and confessing sins. We are to admonish and comfort one another. 

If you’re tired and looking for hope; looking for how to do life in a more meaningful way, that road of isolation and of independence is not going to work for you. The road to dependence and connection is awkward, but it's the greatest choice you could ever make.

One of the most powerful phrases you can say in life is “I need help”.

Say it to God and to others. It's miserably vulnerable. It's not easy; it goes against our flesh desire to be the bomb; to be awesome. 

It’s embarrassing to need other people; to feel like you have to ask for help for things that you used to be very energetic and capable of doing. It's embarrassing to feel so tired that you have to let people down. 

My Experience in Expressing Neediness

Recently, I was a little nervous with my team because we were taking a break. We had canceled a lot of things within the year. It left them stranded. Certainly, not all of them were tired. Some of them had been with me for nine years but some of them were new staff; excited and ready to change the world. 

Then, I felt worried about my team for leaving them hanging because I didn't know the next step. I decided to be honest and brought them into it. I told them I was waiting on God and I didn't want to brainstorm something and just come up with what I think we're supposed to be doing; that I needed to rest.

One of my coworkers and friends, Tracy, looked at me and said:

“I just want you to know Jennie, that we're not here because you know what you're doing. We're here because we trust you that you're waiting on God and that you're hearing from Him. I want you not to worry about us. We respect the season that we're in and it's okay, you don't have to have the answers and you don't have to have the vision all scripted out for us. We’ll wait and we'll follow God with you.”

It was just the grace that I needed to be where I am; which is needy, unclear, waiting, resting, and wishing that I wasn't in this season but trusting why I am. Being honest brings you closer to people; like my team that day. They got to support and love me in a way that I wouldn't have needed if I just walked in on cloud nine. 

They were able to minister to me because I let them know what my needs are, what's hard, and what's broken.

Connection Comes From Weakness

Often, humility is something that we want in our lives and it comes from recognizing our station and position. Our station and position are that of a fleeting person that won't be long. The scripture says that people are like grass; they grow, they live and they die. 

There’s something comforting in owning and recognizing that you won’t be here long. You’d want your life to matter as much as God wants it to matter. Not in ways that bring glory to yourself, your capabilities, gifts, or strengths but that cause you to boast in the Lord. The way we boast in the Lord, scripture says, is in our weakness. Christ is made great through our weakness. So this is the story of humans and God. 

“Inadequate people trusted God and they did great things with their lives. Not through their massive strengths and capacities but through their humble prayers and dependence.”

Think of Moses and how Aaron had to hold his arms up and speak for him. He couldn't even speak without a stutter. God likes and delights over team projects; over us expressing our needs and depending on others. 

One of the roles and powers of connection is that it comes through our weakness; it comes through borrowing things instead of buying them or asking for help instead of doing it yourself. It's so much more fun that way too. It is much more rewarding to do it with a team to do it besides you; people that are fighting for you and with you. I know this isn't easy, but I promise you it is worth it. 

Today call somebody and tell them that you need them. Tell them how or why.

Say: Today I just need to go to lunch and I need to cry.
Or I need you to go shopping with me and help me pick out an outfit for this project I have at work
Or today I need you to help me figure out this problem at work. I'm stuck. I do not know what to do or where to get help.

Ask for help.

I promise you it will bring that connection that you’re craving.