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Years ago in the middle of the night I woke up with a vision. It was simple and clear and so weighty I thought my bones may cave in. It was this.
Gather and Equip your Generation.
It was rather ridiculous at the time because I was not a published author or friends with famous people. I was a stay at home mom and yet the call was so clear and so heavy. So I pushed it away.
First, as important as this post is to me, this is still not the big announcement that is coming. Very soon. I promise we are all working hard to get it ready to share with you.
A few years ago I was invited into the enormous board room at the headquarters of a publisher. I didn’t have a brilliant proposal or a big platform and yet dozens of important people stood around the room to consider partnering with a girl nobody knew, who had never published a book. God brought me there that day and gave me unearned favor- not so I could get published, not so I could build a big ministry, but so that He could have one more way to get to his people.
Zac’s last sunday as a pastor on staff at Austin Stone was this last week. My husband is the most gifted man I know. God has many dreams ahead for him. I can’t wait to tell you some of them. But for now I pray this will inspire you to live for one singular purpose, wherever you are and whatever you are doing.
As Billy Graham once replied to a question about regret, “As I come to the end of my life, I don’t regret the speaking opportunities I didn’t take or not building a bigger ministry. I regret that I didn’t spend more time alone with Jesus. I regret not studying and praying all that I could.”
I feel ready or at least convicted that it is time to let you in on a few things, so today I will share about the book I am living/ writing. As far as the other epic secret dream, give me a few more weeks before I share this dream with you.
Nearly 10 years ago my husband looked at me from across the living room of our rented house in Dallas, TX and bravely said,
I believe God is calling us to plant a church. It wasn’t full of clarity, only just enough.
This happened two years ago today. In the adoption world- this is known as “Gotcha Day.”
Cooper Coming Home from Jennie Allen on Vimeo.
I still can hear God whisper occasionally, “…look at what you could have missed Jennie.”
I miss you guys. I am coming back with so much to tell you. So much coming. I can’t wait. But I am working on all of it right now. So don’t go anywhere!
I was very pregnant with my second child when CNN correspondents wondered aloud if it might be wise for people to invest in gas masks to protect in the case of bio-terrorism. The masks would really only be helpful if you were wearing them the exact moment the attack happened… so everyone passed on the purchase.
It was October 2001 and 9/11 had just changed the world and we all wondered if it would ever be the same again.
Recently, we launched a vision that has haunted me for over 7 years. It is an embarrassingly large preposterous vision. Only someone stupid or possessed by God would dare to dream of what we are about to do. I know you are good and curious right now… and we will fill you in soon. In the meantime- I am afraid and that must be common to other humans so let’s talk about it.
Today Sarah visited home for the first time since the stroke. If you are not familiar with Sarah’s story read here and here.
I plopped down beside her and I watched her eyes dart back and forth, they always seem shockingly peaceful. She seemed settled in the place she had last felt normal. Her feet kicked up on her coffee table and her kids running around laughing and wrestling, completely at ease with the new normal, their silent present mom and her wheel chair off to the side.
As we were settling into our less expensive but plenty nice and comfy home in the suburbs, Perry and I were catching up on our lives outside of church. Perry described that their family of 4 recently moved from their remodeled awesome house in central Austin to an apartment.
I said, “Wow! What was behind that?”
Perry said, “We read this book called ‘Anything’.” She winked but she was serious. The apartment was a step in the path of obedience for their family as they had prayed the prayer that jacks with your life.
Hungry….numb….bored….excited….confused….afraid….content.
….the fluctuating feelings of a soul in a given month or day, at least my soul. I can’t keep up- barely anyone can. But I’ve learned that a few people need to know. I need to be known and I need to know and I need kicks in my hiney when I’m out of line and I need a safe place to be imperfect and I need to laugh and eat too many french fries and forget that I’m afraid and then remember I’m afraid and have someone tell me to stop being afraid.
We all do.
