How To Stop Anxious Thoughts
The question I keep asking people right now is “how are you really doing?” I think I keep asking that because when everything is spiraling and spinning, you just want to look people in the eyes (which right now is through FaceTime and Zoom) and hear they’re okay. The answer to that question usually isn’t simple. I want to talk about the spiraling that goes on inside of us. So let’s go into my brain. If you asked me, “how are you doing Jennie?” This would be my answer.
Given the day, I’m great. I have all my kids home, I have food that I’m actually cooking, and I still get to do meaningful work. In that same day, I’m an absolute disaster. I have anxiety so thick that my chest hurts physically. I have had to quit watching the news because I can't sleep if I watch it. I’m frustrated with my kids even though they haven't done anything but be kids. I am cranky that I'm a homeschool parent, because I have another job to do. I’m wondering about the welfare of my team and our organization and our personal finances for the year to come. And on a given day too, I'm sad. I'm so sad because I miss my parents and I don't know when I'm going to get to see them again. I'm sad because some of my good friends have already contracted COVID-19 and aren't out of the woods yet. I'm also sad because the world is suffering universally right now. That's all in one day and I bet I'm not alone. I bet those same feelings and more are going through your mind on a given day.
We are also facing new anxieties, new unknowns, and our minds are full of more chaos than ever before. Our mind is the catalyst in which the rest of our lives play out. That is the place we have to start. I am doing this all the time with my kids - helping them figure out what they’re thinking, what emotion they’re having, and how their behavior is affecting their relationships.
We largely notice emotion first. We don’t always notice the thought first. We can not go the long haul of obedience and life in Christ and becoming Godly unless we understand and master what’s going on inside of us. The difference in a mature 80 year old and a bitter 80 year old is largely choices. It’s not circumstances. You can go through horrid circumstances and not walk out bitter and cynical. We have power through the spirit of God to make choices. Largely we’re constantly thinking about how we feel about something. My 11 year old son has all of his emotions out there. You always know what he’s feeling. The other day he was getting snappy with me, and I sat him down, and he just started crying. He wasn’t angry at me. He was just sad. I think we have to start with the emotion we’re feeling, because a lot of us are acting angry, but we’re actually just sad.
If we can identify our emotions well, we can manage the circumstance well. If we can understand what's going on inside of us and submit that to Jesus, we will weather this storm well. I remember in seminary, we were talking about how people change. How do we actually start to live differently? Where the rubber meets the road is actually not in our thoughts and emotions. That might consume our own joy and happiness, but where it really starts to effect things is in our behaviors and relationships. My professor said we change by the word of God, but ultimately it’s risking and dependence on God. This is one of those moments where the rubber meets the road. These circumstances make us question where God us, what we’re going to hold onto, or maybe even question our faith. Our emotions and thoughts are impacting our behaviors and relationships in a really powerful way. Change doesn’t happen in some ethereal space. It happens in our minds. Which then happens in our behaviors. Which then happens in our relationships. Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” That defines a person more than any other thing about his life. What are we thinking about? Scripture says in Romans 12:2, “do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. That by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good, acceptable and perfect.”
I want to focus on that first part. Do not be conformed to this world. There is a different pattern that we’re going to live by that’s going to shift us in a way, so that our behaviors, our relationships, our emotions, our thoughts are not conformed to the world. But that we would be transformed. We can not control our circumstances right now, but we do have control over our thoughts. So I’m going to be super practical right now.
The way we persevere through this season starts in our minds. The other day I was feeling so frantic - it was different than anxious. I had so much energy I thought I was going to implode. I felt so restless and stuck. What we do in those moments matter. It’s not as simple as putting a verse to my mind. It’s noticing the thought, the feeling, and identifying what’s going on. Why am I feeling frantic? What thoughts have gotten me here? We can’t let ourselves spin out in chaos. We can’t let this cycle take over and let our circumstances define our feelings.
I’m going to give you one thing. One big thing. It is the daily practice of my mind - interrupting my thoughts. We have a choice as to what we think about. Jesus died for the freedom of my mind. My mind is now free to worship him. It no longer has to be conformed to the world. I’m crazy if I don’t do something with that! God has given me power over my mind. Why would I not use it?
