Why Fatherhood Matters

With Louie Giglio

There is so much craving and desire for fatherhood in our society. We all long for that relationship with a father. And yet, many people either don’t have that relationship or they don’t have a father at all. Louie Giglio, an amazing pastor and author, has dedicated much of his ministry to the youth, many of whom continue to long for that fatherly relationship.

So many people look up to him as a spiritual father. In fact, many would say their salvation has come from God saving them through his words. Louie recently spoke to Jennie about the importance of fatherhood. This is the edited interview:

Jennie: So many people are scared of God and feel like they've disappointed him. And that perception of God as a disappointed father is one of several things you write about in your book. Talk a bit about that and how people can shift from that view.

Louie: We all need the approval, love, and presence of a father speaking into our lives. And without it, we are going to crave it in the worst ways.

The Trinity teaches that community matters to God. We learn that relationships matter to God because God Himself is a relationship – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Right there in the very community of God is Father. That's how important a father is. And right now, fatherhood is getting pushed off to the wayside in our culture.

Fatherhood is not highly valued right now, but it is central to the very character and nature of God. And it's central to our relationships. We all have a father. We may not know who he is. We may have never met him. He may be the greatest and most empowering person in our story. But every one of us has a father, and every one of us needs that father's blessing.

If this is the plan, then the enemy’s going to fracture and distort fatherhood so that he then can put a hurdle in our relationship with God. This spiritual war that we're in is real. I’ve had a lot of young people say they’re not interested in the heavenly Father if He’s anything like their dad. So, the enemy has injured a lot of us through our broken father relationships and undermined our opportunity to have the best relationship with God.

Jennie: This is the most foundational thing to our faith and our lives. And yet, it’s not talked about very often. So, how do you go about shifting that view if it is broken?

Louie: It's almost impossible to completely dump all our memories and experiences. And part of that is because we feel like we get over things by saying we'll never be them. That's another one of the tricks of the enemy. You see a lot of people vow to never be like their dads. So, the focus is on what we don’t want to be.

We need a better example in our lives, and fortunately, we have that in Jesus.

Jesus came in the flesh to show us the way to the Father. Jesus refers to God as the Father way more often than any other way. So, He's teaching us all these critical points of the story. And the way you begin to move toward that is through your imagination.

Our imagination can open a door for us to move toward the picture of God that Jesus has shown us.

It allows us to step into the fulfillment of something that actually didn't happen. So, follow the imagination and let it lead you to the Father that Jesus has revealed to you. That's how you begin to know Him, even though you didn't have that modeled for you in the relationship you have with your earthly dad.

Jennie: I enjoyed reading about your dad in the book. Tell us about that relationship.

Louie: My dad got disabled late in life because of a brain virus. It was a very hard ending, with seven years of mental, emotional, and physical disability. My dad already wasn't an ON-FIRE Jesus follower. He grew up in a Catholic family. My mom was very Baptist, and he came to the Baptist Church when they met. But he stopped coming to church after a while.

He wasn't against God, but I don't know where he was in his faith and his relationship with God. So, we had that struggle. And now life was just upside down. He had been through several brain surgeries, and we were spending a lot of days in hospital rooms.

He told me one day while we were sitting at Piedmont Hospital, “No one ever loved me. No one ever wanted me, and I'm not sure that God loves me either. And I don't know if anybody wants me.” I didn’t know how to respond to this or how to process it. So, I blurt out, “But Dad, I love you. Gina loves you. Mom loves you. We love you. God loves you, Dad.”

My dad was shuffled around when he was a kid because his parents were having issues. So, he moved from relative to relative. I realized that my dad never had a Father's blessing on his life. He was an incredible dad to us, but he had a slightly passive role in our lives. But he was a creative genius.

He was a graphic designer who was an abstract artist at heart. He created the Chick-fil-A logo in 1964 sitting on the sofa in our living room. It's been tweaked here and there, but it survived since 1964. My dad taught me how to use language. He was incredible with words and was a phenomenal storyteller.

He never judged anyone and would give everything he had at any moment to everybody. He was just an incredible genius of a guy. He was such a good dad to my sister and me, and he taught me how to be original. Anything I've done that’s even remotely creative comes from growing up around him.

Jennie: That is so dear. Do you feel like you had to recover a lot from the hard parts?

Louie: Yeah. Everybody's relationship with their dads is a different spot, and I would say mine was amazing. I always felt safe with my dad. He tried to bless me, and now I feel even better about it. I remember telling my dad on a Sunday afternoon that the Lord was calling me to preach. I told him awkwardly in the kitchen. I told him they’d be a big thing in front of the whole church on Sunday night and said I'd love for him to come.

He said, “Well, that's great,” but his face was telling a very different story. He didn't come that night. Although that did sting, I knew it wasn't him trying to hurt me. We just did not have that common ground. I was growing in my faith in that season, and it was creating a bit of a gap for us.

My dad got disabled not long after that. After some time had gone by, Charles Stanley asked me to preach at First Baptist Church in Atlanta on Father's Day. I preached about atheists who are hurt, and seeing God as a perfect father. My dad came in his wheelchair with my mom. It was the first time he had been back in church in years.

I walked to my dad afterwards and thanked him for coming, and he goes “Ace. Are you kidding me? That was the best thing I've ever heard in my life!” And my dad never said anything he didn’t mean. I only had a few years with my dad after that, but that just unlocked something. It healed and restored a lot.

That experience put me in a new space with him, and I still carry that to this day. If I'm preaching on Sunday, I know that my dad's proud of me. I know he’s proud of the way God has gifted me. As somebody who respects communication, language, and storytelling, I know that he is proud. So, praise God for that redemption.

I know a lot of people don't get that opportunity. But I'm so grateful to have a few moments like that in life. It really did bring the blessing with a lot more force.

Jennie: God did not have it in the plan for you to be a biological father to a child. And yet, you have fathered so many people. I imagine heaven will be so fun for you. Do you truly take that in? I know you've heard it said about yourself, but do you ever absorb that?

Louie: God has given us, by His grace, a lot of influence. And so, when people say anything in that sphere, I try to just move on. If I get to heaven and there are a lot of sons up there, I will be the happiest guy because my goal is just to make it to heaven.

I just want to be a humble servant of God. I want to keep showing up faithfully and trusting him through the highs and lows. I guess it's not in my makeup to think, “Wow, I am really making an impact on a lot of people's lives.” I try to just go home and thank the Lord for choosing and using me. By His grace, I pray that He continues to use me. I'm not trying to take the joy out of what you were saying at all. Please understand that.

Jennie: Let me take a different angle at it. I vividly remember when you spoke on fatherhood at a Passion Conference. I felt the Holy Spirit uniquely moving to those kids. I saw a visual representation of the Father to a generation that largely didn't have dads. Maybe, that is just how you have lived. You have treated them as a good father would. You have seen them and cared for them in a way a good father would.

Louie: That's a good way to get around it. I think I do feel that in a way. When I went to graduate school, I never imagined we’d be here. But 10 years later, we're leading college students. God sprung us into Passion, and 35 years later, we're still here loving and caring for 18- to 25-year-olds.

We're not the only people who've ever done that. There have been amazing student movements throughout the history of the world and America. The goal of this youth ministry is to ultimately keep showing this young generation that we love and value them.

When we invite only the youth to these conferences, it shows that we value them and believe in them because we’re pouring out our life for them. They feel seen, and their role as the hope of the world is affirmed.

These young people are all going somewhere. They'll become ambassadors, politicians, mothers, family builders, financiers, and play several other roles in society. If we invest in them and pour into them the heart and glory of Jesus, they will carry that to the ends of the earth. The exportation of our efforts will be exponential on levels that no one will be able to process.

Yes, we're sacrificing to serve them, but they are going to serve Jesus everywhere on planet Earth. And man, what kind of a return on your life's investment is that? So, it's a pretty powerful opportunity.

You can get a copy of Louie’s recently re-released book ‘Seeing God as a Perfect Father: and Seeing You as Loved, Pursued, and Secure’ right here. You can also follow Louie on social media. He is leading a generation of young adults and churches across multiple cities in the country, and we know he will encourage and challenge you.